Refuge for a Single Mom

Sometimes, the weight of the world can be very overwhelming.  There seem to be constant struggles and obstacles.  There’s always something to worry about.

Thing is, as we learn to fully rely on the strength and protection of the Lord, as we learn to trust His plan, His timing, His wisdom and His love, we will be better equipped to live happier, healthier, more joyful and peaceful lives.

I have been learning this lesson for a very long time.  I am one of the most impatient, paranoid, speculative people you will meet.  In fact, I remember my mom coming home from 6th grade parent conference.  The teacher told her that although Christina was an excellent student, she worried more than any other 6th grader he had ever met.

Over the years, my heavenly Father has been teaching me to be a bit different.  Although I am still struggling with these things, I’ve learned to catch myself.  When I feel the anxiety hit, I just stop and pray.  I give it up to God and quit with the worry.  I know, deep in my soul, beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will take care of whatever it is.  I know that He cares more about my family and me than I can even grasp.  He will bring to pass the best scenario possible!

When we look to the Word for guidance, we see that there is something called “The Armor of God”.  Obviously, this is spiritual armor, but as you can see, our Almighty Father has all the bases covered.

As time and circumstances allow this week, I’d like to explore each part of the armor.  I think it is so important to fully understand the protection that God has to offer – if we’ll only let Him!

The Armor of God  (Ephesians 6:10-24)

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.

11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.

14 Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS,

15 and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE;

16 in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

17 And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints,

19 and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel,

20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

21 But that you also may know about my circumstances, how I am doing, Tychicus, the beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord, will make everything known to you.

22 I have sent him to you for this very purpose, so that you may know about us, and that he may comfort your hearts.

23 Peace be to the brethren, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

24 Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with incorruptible love.

Labels: Adversity, Anxiety, Armor of God, Diligence, Perseverance, Positive Thinking, Strength, Way of Thinking

Something was mentioned in an e-mail the other day that got me thinking about balance…

So many of us are out of balance – what can we do?  Is it possible to balance ALL of our responsibilities?

I am so out of balance right now.  Not enough sleep, not enough to eat, not enough ‘me’ time, and surely not enough ‘God’ time.

I’ve got a teen that seems to think staying put is a crime, because he is on the move constantly.  I’ve got a pre-schooler that has a selective hearing disorder.  Business is just slow enough to cause financial strain while gaining just enough momentum to create havoc.  My father fell and hurt himself which requires me to help him out and run him to various doctor and orthopedic appointments.  Youth group has begun at church and requires my attention, as do some redecorating issues.  We’re still looking for a house and trying to sell another piece of property.  It’s that season when grass must be mowed and vehicles need washed and vacuumed.  Most frustrating of all, my neighbors will never learn to park, but continue to buy countless vehicles!!!  Oh the joys!  Oh, and did I mention…I just might start dating again…yup…you heard that one right!  (Could it be?  Has the cynical, bitter, ex-wife found herself a man?  We shall see!  *wink*)

There are so many issues, worries, obligations and responsibilities pulling on me right now and I know that it is a time to prune!  I must, must, must prune away the responsibilities and obligations that are fruitless (so to speak).  Someone I love and respect very much talks a lot about this.  (Feel free to visit her at Small Business Moms’ Blog “…for tips, resources and encouragement...especially for newer work at home moms that wish to run their business from a biblical perspective…”)

Anyway, I won’t get into the particulars, but the point is this, we must balance our lives.  None of the things I’ve mentioned can be allowed to overcome or overwhelm us.  When things are out of whack or out of balance, that creates frustration, exhaustion and many other ‘gaps’ for the enemy.  When we are tired or hungry, lonely, harboring hurt feelings, all of these instances create vulnerability and allow the enemy to brutally attack us.

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.  John 15:2

If a branch is not bearing fruit – it is taken away.  I always have a very hard time with this.  I feel like I need to be everywhere I can, doing everything I can to glorify God.  It isn’t necessarily working out that way.  I thought that even if I wasn’t gaining anything that it was my responsibility to ‘give’.  The thing is, the vine is fruitless.

These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.  John 15:11

“…so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”  Not ‘sort of’ or ‘kind of’ or ‘somewhat’ – but FULL!

We are all just roaming around aimlessly, bogged down by all these wayward, crazy branches.  The other branches are trying to produce fruit, but desperately need pruned back so that they can grow healthier and fuller!

Limit yourselves sisters!  As Moms, we are all so used to doing everything ourselves.  We fix everything and nurture everything.  But the fact remains that we are human and can only do so much – even with God’s help.  Quit trying to be everything to everyone!  Instead, balance, prune and be FULL of His joy!

Labels: Anxiety, Choices, Restoration, Way of Thinking

Yep!  You heard me right!  Give up!  Quit fighting, fumbling, stressing, wrestling and worrying with all this junk that you carry around and give it up - to God!

Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life.  Luke 21:34

This is something I’m working very diligently with right now.  I have a tendency to be very persistent and stubborn.  So when trials and adversity hit, nothing is any different.  I forget to go to God; I think that I can do it on my own and Viola!  I end up frustrated, stressed and very grouchy!  (Ask my kids!)  What did I accomplish?  Absolutely nothing!

But the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and chokes the word, and it becomes unfruitful.  Mark 4:19

There are several issues that I seem to be dealing with over and over right now.  I’ve mentioned most of them here (a few times) so I won’t beat the horse.  But usually, about once a month or so, I feel like I could literally explode.  I feel like every morning when I wake up I’m already on the edge.  So every time something happens, large or small, I just blow!  There are times when I physically feel like my head will simply shatter and blow right off the top of my head – like a volcano!

I think this is something that is especially characteristic of single moms, although I don’t think that we have the patent on it.  I know a lot of married moms that are seemingly raising their children as single moms.  They’re on their own all week, every other week or sometimes weeks at a time – they too understand this very well.

You are solely responsible for every function in your home, every event, every chore and errand.  You raise your children, discipline your children, attempt to have quality time with your children, maintain your home, and usually, we’re the sole breadwinner.

Now add the unusual junk, like a broken down vehicle, leaky roof, unexpected dental, optical or heath issues, or the all to well known and much dreaded TEMPER TANTRUM and well, that’s it!  There goes the “Mamma’s Peak”!  Come on!  How on Earth are we supposed to do all this?  How are we supposed to manage?  How can anyone expect us to be ‘Suzie Sunshine’ all the time?

Simple!  We go to God!  We give it all up and put all this junk in His hands.  Honestly, it really isn’t that simple, or I wouldn’t be here talking about it.  Indeed, we make it very difficult!  We hang on, laboring over it all wondering why we’re so exhausted, drained and irritable!

Duh!  We just aren’t made to handle it all alone!  God is patiently waiting for us to hand it all over to Him and we need to!  For us!  For our health!  For our kids!  For our family!  For our friends!  And, whether we realize it or not, for God!  He truly and passionately wants for us to admit how much we need Him!

The LORD is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who take refuge in Him.  Nahum 1:7

GIVE UP!  LET IT GO!  LET GOD!

Do you understand the words that are comin’ outta my mouth?

GIVE UP!  LET IT GO!  LET GOD!

Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  John 14:1

He has the shoulders to bear our burdens Sisters!  He can and He will!  Praise God!

My God in His lovingkindness will meet me; God will let me look triumphantly upon my foes.  Psalm 59:10

For You have been a defense for the helpless, A defense for the needy in his distress, A refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat; For the breath of the ruthless Is like a rain storm against a wall.  Isaiah 25:40

Labels: Anxiety, Comfort, Control, Discouraged, Strength, Tests, Tolerance, Trials

Once again, I’m revisiting a topic I’ve talked about before.  Once again, it is something that is weighing very heavily on my heart and I am dealing with it every day.  (Actually, I’m NOT dealing with it, which explains the need for revisiting it!)

As I’ve mentioned before, my family is faithfully searching for a new home.  Not just a house, not just a place to move, a HOME!  Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE moving?  I only want to do this once and do it right!  Under the circumstances, we need something a little more unique than what is traditionally available on the market.  (Within a reasonable price range that is.)  The kids need their own bedrooms, Mom needs a ‘suite’, and I need a bedroom and an office.  We surely need more bathrooms!  We’d ‘like’ a family room and perhaps an exercise room.  We need a garage.  We really, really, really want a nice, level, private yard…and the list goes on!  *smile*

We are once again entertaining the idea of buying a modular.  We found the exact modular we want and have planned out our basement!  We would end up with 3900 square feet of living space and approximately 500 square feet of garage!  (Right now the four of us are essentially living in 900 square feet of living space!)

Well, in a sincere effort to not insult anyone involved or resort to name-calling, I will just tell you that people are often not what they seem, although they say a lot of things - they don’t mean any of them and unfortunately, promises are not always kept.  I am finding myself, once again, very disheartened.

I’m struggling so much with this.  I know that God has a perfect plan for His people.  I know that He wants us to live comfortably and happily.  I know that He would not have us suffer!

So why then?  Why are we still in this same small house that desperately needs some TLC?  Why are we still subjected to neighbors that ‘flash’ us, damage our property, keep us up late at night and are all around inconsiderate?  Why?

Because, for whatever reason or purpose, it just isn’t God’s time yet.  Either something isn’t available for us yet, we need to ‘do’ something here before we move…I don’t know.  I have no clue whatsoever!

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.  Ecclesiastes 3:1

All I know for sure is this, God will not allow us to continue to suffer like this.  He will not allow us to continue to suffer sleepless nights, to be cramped, stressed, fearful, insulted, or anything else that is going on.

For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11

It is so hard, as human beings, immersed in this sinful, material, ‘natural’ world to think outside of the box.  To think within the box, or the promises of, God.  It is times like this, times of disappointment, heartache, hardship, frustration, that we need to look to Him and to His word.  To not fall victim to the deceit and the lies of the enemy.  Unlike every other promise or declaration, those of our Lord and Savior are true!

6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,
7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
9 But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.
10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.
11 To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.  I Peter 5:6-11

Labels: Anxiety, Encouragement, Patience, Perseverance, Timing

Have you heard this phrase? (A little over-used in my opinion.) To an extent it`s true, nonetheless. It`s used mostly when someone dies or tragedy strikes. For our purposes today, we`ll consider any bad occurrence, thought or feeling a `bad thing`.

So, why DO bad things happen to good people?

If you truly are a good person, if you are following the path of the Lord, if you are growing in the Word you are glorifying God. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not [in] vain in the Lord. I Corinthians 15:57-58

This makes the enemy furious! That is the LAST thing he wants. He wants us to be miserable, hopeless and desperate. He wants a vulnerable, empty human being to manipulate and have control over! Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices. II Corinthians 2:11

But You, O LORD, be gracious to me and raise me up, That I may repay them. By this I know that You are pleased with me, Because my enemy does not shout in triumph over me. As for me, You uphold me in my integrity, And You set me in Your presence forever. Psalm 41:10-12

Recently, I shared with you that we were looking for a house. Well, we have indeed found a house and although there is a lot to get in order, it appears that we will soon be moving! Yippee! Right? Yeah, I guess. I mean, I`m feeling a lot of anxiety and I`m very stressed out!

Because it`s a bad decision? No, I really don`t think so. There are several reasons we need to move and this house meets the majority of our needs. We will be using the proceeds from another real estate sale to buy the house outright and won`t even have a mortgage payment! It`s in the same town, so my children won`t have to change school districts. Commuting distances are the same. Very little change overall!

Why then? Well, personally, I believe it`s the enemy. Yeah, it could be a convenient excuse, but you see even when the Lord IS trying to make a point, He isn`t going to make us feel sadness, guilt, fear or anything that would bring us distress! For out of much tribulation and distress of heart I wrote to you, with many tears; not that ye may be grieved, but that ye may know the love which I have very abundantly towards you. 2 Corinthians 2:4

Girls, I have to tell you, I am touchy, short, nauseous, I`ve got a headache, etc. This isn`t the Lord`s way. It`s the enemy`s way! He is filling my head and my heart with so much doubt! He will persecute you any way possible in order to keep you from God`s blessings.

It is at these times as much as ever, that we need to go to our Lord and Savior in prayer. Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. I Peter 5:7

Continue to pray over the situation and seek clarity and discernment! O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Be gracious to me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1

He DOES hear your prayers! Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" Matthew 14:31

Why do YOU doubt? Have faith Sisters! Seek out the blessings and the favor that our Savior has for you!

Labels: Adversity, Anxiety, Distress, Triumph