Refuge for a Single Mom

Yep!  You heard me right!  Give up!  Quit fighting, fumbling, stressing, wrestling and worrying with all this junk that you carry around and give it up - to God!

Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life.  Luke 21:34

This is something I’m working very diligently with right now.  I have a tendency to be very persistent and stubborn.  So when trials and adversity hit, nothing is any different.  I forget to go to God; I think that I can do it on my own and Viola!  I end up frustrated, stressed and very grouchy!  (Ask my kids!)  What did I accomplish?  Absolutely nothing!

But the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and chokes the word, and it becomes unfruitful.  Mark 4:19

There are several issues that I seem to be dealing with over and over right now.  I’ve mentioned most of them here (a few times) so I won’t beat the horse.  But usually, about once a month or so, I feel like I could literally explode.  I feel like every morning when I wake up I’m already on the edge.  So every time something happens, large or small, I just blow!  There are times when I physically feel like my head will simply shatter and blow right off the top of my head – like a volcano!

I think this is something that is especially characteristic of single moms, although I don’t think that we have the patent on it.  I know a lot of married moms that are seemingly raising their children as single moms.  They’re on their own all week, every other week or sometimes weeks at a time – they too understand this very well.

You are solely responsible for every function in your home, every event, every chore and errand.  You raise your children, discipline your children, attempt to have quality time with your children, maintain your home, and usually, we’re the sole breadwinner.

Now add the unusual junk, like a broken down vehicle, leaky roof, unexpected dental, optical or heath issues, or the all to well known and much dreaded TEMPER TANTRUM and well, that’s it!  There goes the “Mamma’s Peak”!  Come on!  How on Earth are we supposed to do all this?  How are we supposed to manage?  How can anyone expect us to be ‘Suzie Sunshine’ all the time?

Simple!  We go to God!  We give it all up and put all this junk in His hands.  Honestly, it really isn’t that simple, or I wouldn’t be here talking about it.  Indeed, we make it very difficult!  We hang on, laboring over it all wondering why we’re so exhausted, drained and irritable!

Duh!  We just aren’t made to handle it all alone!  God is patiently waiting for us to hand it all over to Him and we need to!  For us!  For our health!  For our kids!  For our family!  For our friends!  And, whether we realize it or not, for God!  He truly and passionately wants for us to admit how much we need Him!

The LORD is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who take refuge in Him.  Nahum 1:7

GIVE UP!  LET IT GO!  LET GOD!

Do you understand the words that are comin’ outta my mouth?

GIVE UP!  LET IT GO!  LET GOD!

Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  John 14:1

He has the shoulders to bear our burdens Sisters!  He can and He will!  Praise God!

My God in His lovingkindness will meet me; God will let me look triumphantly upon my foes.  Psalm 59:10

For You have been a defense for the helpless, A defense for the needy in his distress, A refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat; For the breath of the ruthless Is like a rain storm against a wall.  Isaiah 25:40

Labels: Anxiety, Comfort, Control, Discouraged, Strength, Tests, Tolerance, Trials

7 Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself!
8 Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.
9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.  II Corinthians 12:7-10

Last week was very interesting and very busy – to say the least.  Among a lot of other things, I’ve been feeling very discouraged and very alone.

Fortunately, no matter how rough I get to feeling, no matter the reason, I always have one true and loyal friend that is always there, always listening and best of all, loves me unconditionally.  (Thank goodness for that!!!)  *smile*

So, while praying one night last week, I got to thinking about how much God has touched my life, how much He has changed me.  I got to thinking about who and what I was without Him and how far along He has brought me.  

Imagine a puppet, a marionette, if you will, with just a string or two.  Kind of flopping around aimlessly, with little to no direction, no coordination, no charisma, no personality…nothing.  That was me – totally!

Like a lot of people, I too ‘asked Jesus into my heart’ at a very tender age, during some highly emotional altar call at Church Camp, however, for many years, I wandered, I rebelled, I went in every direction but the one God called me to.  Therefore, I don’t consider myself truly saved until 4 ½ years ago when I deeply and honestly repented of my sins and made a total commitment to follow Him and glorify Him in everything I do.

In this very short, but productive 4 ½ years, God has added more ‘strings’ and ‘details’ to this ‘doll’.  By His grace I have become more focused, more convicted, more committed, and overall, more beautiful and coordinated in every way!

For a little while now, I’ve been working on a little side project - something that is extremely dear to my heart and has no monetary value whatsoever.  Just a true ‘vision’ to do the will of God and glorify Him in the best way I know how.  I’m not quite ready to talk about it yet, but it’s been coming along quite well.  I truly believe that this is something that God would have me to do!

On Friday, I suffered a bit of a setback.  Something someone said led me to believe that I had nothing to offer, that I couldn’t be a good example to others because I’m essentially not a finished product.  Well, Hello?  Who is?  Can I not witness to the grace of God and His goodness in my life?  Can I not be a good example because of my accomplishments thus far?

The thing here is this; we MUST be happy and content with WHERE we are in Christ, WHO we are in Christ!  Not that we don’t continue to strive to be more, to be a ‘better’ version, or to be all that we can be through Him on this Earth, but we have to love ourselves and be happy where we are.  We can’t consume ourselves with being someone or something we are not.

This has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn.  I am typically the type of person to care what other people think and to over analyze everything!  The past, the future - usually a lot of things that I have no control over anyway.  One thing I found that I could control, however, was me.  I could ‘decide’ to be happy and joyful and let things roll.  I can praise God for the lessons I’ve learned, the blessings I’ve received and the victory that He has planned for me!


10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity.
11 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.
12 I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.
13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
14 Nevertheless, you have done well to share with me in my affliction.  Philippians 4:10-14

Only when we are satisfied with what He has given us, will He trust us with more.  More blessings, more responsibility, etc.

Obviously, we all have a long way to go.  We all have ‘fine-tuning’ to undergo.  In the meantime, however, most of us have learned a lot and we’ve experience a lot.  Therefore, most of us have some insight to lend to those in a different place, those still struggling to surrender to the will of God.  (They just have to be willing to listen.)

Someday, when God is truly finished, and I am home in Heaven with Him, I will finally get to be a REAL little girl!  In the meantime, I’m just me.  –The ME that God created me to be trusting Him to guide my strings in the right directions!

Labels: Believe, Control, Encouragement, Growth, Learning, Positive Thinking, Praise, Way of Thinking

Well then. After all that venting, I feel the need to slow down a little bit and clarify some things. *smile*

There is a lot of `junk` in this world that can put us in the wrong mindset. In turn, the wrong mindset can keep you from the will of God and from all of the blessings that He has in store for you!

The thing here is, I`m not discussing the typical `junk`. A lot of things will keep you from being right with God. ie) Adultery, Blasphemy, Cursing, Etc.) We all know what most of these are ~ they`re in the 10 Commandments! Right?

There is so much `junk` in this world that the enemy disguises as typical human behavior that we fail, or forget to notice the damage it inflicts. We are just bombarded by it. Your neighbors, your parents, your ex-husband (your husband), your kids, your friends, the enemy can use any one of these people as tools to inflict this aggravation on you! (Does this make them bad? Absolutely not!) But what do you think causes your toddler to throw a temper tantrum in the line at the post office for no apparent reason? I could mention example after example where the enemy will use whatever means and whoever he can to work you over! Road Rage? Telemarketers? Collection Agencies?

When people put you down, or talk badly about you, manipulate you, verbally abuse you, discourage you, belittle you, they are sinning against you. (I`m not talking constructive criticism here!) Often times, this can be disguised as concern, neighborly assistance, or as we discussed yesterday, even a message from God.

NOTE: I do truly believe that some individuals have a direct pipeline to the Lord. I know that when serious circumstances arise, those are the people you request prayer from. They completely and totally believe in the salvation of Jesus Christ and they are truly anointed! But I also think that this is a special gift reserved for these folks! The secret of the LORD is for those who fear Him, And He will make them know His covenant. Psalm 25:14

In my life, I`ve heard a lot of things. I`ve been told a lot of things. And, unfortunately, I`ve believed a lot of things.

Here`s one: Have you ever had someone do something for you, and remind you of it years after? `. . . but remember that time in 1996 when I . . . ?` THAT my dears is a guilt trip. It is an attempt to guilt you or manipulate you into doing whatever follows. Sometimes it might be as simple as being their friend, which you`ve already concluded drains the life right out of you! These will be the people that are always borrowing, always needing, always, always, always. And surely, the one time they were able to help you out . . . you will be reminded of it for eternity. So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. Matthew 6:2 (Isn`t it awesome that Jesus isn`t like this? Could you imagine every time you made a mistake, hearing ` . . . but I died for you . . . ` So, therefore, I challenge this, if our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ does not remind us of the greatest gift of all, where in the world does ANYONE get off reminding you how they fixed your flat tire, or jump started your car?

Human beings driven by the flesh will pretty much say and do whatever it takes to get what they want out of you and out of life. It they hurt you, betray you or even destroy you, it is of no consequence to them. Thus they have repaid me evil for good And hatred for my love. Psalm 109:5

That may sound a little hopeless, but that really is the state of the world we live in.

You might ask, ` . . . then what in the world can I do about it?` Simple. Go to God! Run like your shoes are on fire! He is the truth, the light and the ONLY way! His promises are like money in the bank! He will not waver, He will not betray! The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom; to Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. II Timothy 4:18

A righteous person is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 12:26 You have to be cautious, if necessary, build a few walls through the Word of God and arm yourself in knowledge. Yes, we need to be helpful, giving, loving, etc., however, we DO NOT have or need to be a door mat for anyone! They have landfills for garbage ladies! It doesn`t need dumped in your lap or worse yet ~ your mind!

Labels: Control, Deceit, Guilt, Manipulation