Refuge for a Single Mom

Last week, my girl Becki and I were discussing some things.  (And by the way, I just want to publicly say what a wonderful friend, listener and encouragement she’s been to me lately!  Thank you sweetie – you rock!)  In particular, we were talking about relationships, witnessing to others and spreading God’s Word, when finally, she simply says to me, “just let your light shine through”.  How simple – right?

1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;

4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  I Peter 3:1-4

Yeah, I realize that this refers to wives in particular, and no, I’m not getting at anything…but I think it is sound advice for anyone – especially single moms thrown back out into the dating world of today.

For some of us, we’ve been Christians a long time and it all comes through very naturally, no matter what the social circumstances.

For others of us, we became dedicated Christians during a ‘down time’ (in an incubator of sorts) when we were only concerned with ourselves and our children.  We didn’t have to deal with the mindset of a boyfriend, fiancé, spouse, or any other type of significant other.

But now, all of the sudden we find that we are not only faced with the difficulties of dating in general, but we are inundated by the effects of the sinful world we live in.  Betrayal, lies, deceit, and lust are commonplace.

Love doesn’t always discern.  We may fall in love with someone that believes differently or follows a different doctrine, or worst case scenario, he may not believe at all.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?  II Corinthians 6:14

What do we do?

The last thing you want to do is to give in to lust and fleshly desires - even if it feels right.  You can’t let persuasion or intimidation control your decisions.  You also can’t be so afraid of being alone that you will do anything (including betray God) to “keep a man”!

I can tell you this, someone who really loves you and respects you, will be considerate of your morals, ideals, principles, opinions, habits, idiosyncrasies, AND your beliefs and faith!  When they choose to be a part of your life, they must realize that your children, your home, your work, your family, your friends and most importantly, your God were there first!

This may sound a little brutal, but my honest opinion is this - - God first!  Everything else that we are blessed with in this life is simply the ‘cherry on top’ (so to speak).  You wouldn’t have your children, home, job, family, friends or any man if weren’t for the grace of God.  Your eternal life depends on your comprehension of that!

There will always be someone in your life, children, family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc., that relies on your ‘light’ for direction.  As single Moms, hopefully we will all find someone very special to spend the rest of our lives with, but in the meantime, we will come in contact with many people, struggling people, and they won’t always be Christians, they may not even be believers!  We should recognize this as one more way to spread the good news of God’s promises!

I Peter 3:4 says: but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  In other words, “let your light shine through” – in every situation!!!

Labels: Choices, Friendship, Godliness, Righteousness, Way of Thinking

The Armor of God  (Ephesians 6:15)

15 and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE

Shod:

Labels: Armor of God, Peace, Righteousness

The Armor of God  (Ephesians 6:14)

14 Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

The first ‘pieces’ of “The Armor of God” consist of ‘having girded your loins with truth’ and ‘the breastplate of righteousness’ …

Gird:

Labels: Armor of God, Righteousness, Way of Thinking

How often do you hear `thank you`?

I don`t hear it very often.  It seems like I do so much for other people and don`t get very much appreciation at all.  Sometimes this really gets to me – like today!

I don`t know about you, but I find myself often faced with the decision of leaving a group or place because I feel more like a doormat than a member.  I love, hug, pray or lend an ear, but I never get much in return.  It would seem like there is never anyone there for me.

This is always a huge dilemma for me.  I try to have a heart to give and a mind to care and especially a spirit full of the love of God.  As human beings, this is really tough.  We want to be loved and cared for too!  We yearn for fellowship and people that miss us when we are away!  Unfortunately, the enemy is always there to lend a hand.  Reminding us how alone we feel or how we don`t `fit in` or that we`re `left out` all the time!

Fortunately, sitting here ranting about this does make me think of a few people in my life that do thank me, miss me or just all around care and that is comforting.  In fact, it lends to that saying about quality and NOT quantity!  Or perhaps, the one about not being able to please all of the people all of the time?

So then, if people are thankless, rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate, etc., should we remove them from our lives?  Should we discontinue a work that we feel called to do?  How much do we really have to bear before we can `call it quits` on something (or someone)?

This particular verse comes to mind (and is one of my favorites):

Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.  Proverbs 31:31

You know, this would imply that our true rewards aren`t even here on Earth!  Yes, surely God will bless His daughters and provide generously for them.  We will receive our true praise and appreciation from the Lord.

Our pastor has been discussing this a lot lately, in part because of some issues at church, but mostly because it is Godly to give and not worry so much about the receiving end!

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.  I Corinthians 13:3

Everything we do, we need to do for, through, about, because of, and with God.  Plain and simple!  If we do anything, including give, with the intention of receiving gratitude, appreciation or recognition from other human beings, our efforts are futile!  We may receive those things in the long run, but primarily, before all else, we have to live in a way pleasing to God.  A way which glorifies Him.

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
4 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;
8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light
9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth),
10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them;
12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.
13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.
14 For this reason it says, “Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you.”  
15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,
16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit,
19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;
20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father;
21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.  Ephesians 5:11

Labels: Decisions, Discouraged, Generosity, Godliness, Perseverance, Righteousness, Way of Thinking

1 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,

2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.

3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,

6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,

7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.

8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name,

10 so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling;

13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing;

15 so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,

16 holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.

17 But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all.

18 You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me.

Philippians 2:1-18


These verses have truly become some of my favorites.  If you look them up in the Online Parallel Bible , they are entitled “Be Like Christ”.  They are pretty much self explanatory and truly lay out the guidelines for living a righteous life.  I came across them last week while hunting for some other ideas and made a note.  This morning, while rifling through papers for the dentist`s phone number, I came across the note again.

Monday night we had the extreme pleasure of having dinner with the pastor, his wife and children and another family from church.  

Ultimately, conversation turned to the issues of forgiveness and Godliness.  (As it often does with this group.)  We also discussed the difference between living for people and living for God and striving to live in a way which is pleasing to Him.  So, obviously, these words were laid on my heart today for a reason.  (The Lord works in mysterious ways.)

Yes, I`ve visited this issue a lot lately, but it is something that I am dealing with and working at and I think, as human beings interacting with other human beings, most of us always will.

In this world, full of fleshly whims and desires, it is impossible to be perfect.  It is impossible for us to be perfect and it is impossible for those around us to be.  (That includes those we love, those we don`t and even those that are seemingly unlovable!)

Personally, I think that if we cease to be amazed by people`s behavior, we have become desensitized, we have succumbed to the sinful world we live in. (I certainly don`t want that to happen to me!)  Initially, the audacity, ignorance, repulsiveness, thoughtlessness, hatefulness, inconsideration, etc., should shock us!

At that point however, it becomes our responsibility to deal with it – to make a choice!  (What a task!)  We can choose to be a part of the ongoing problem or we can choose to be part of the solution!  (By the way, judging, pointing fingers, gossiping, etc. does NOT serve any real purpose!  That type of behavior only lends to the problem!)

We can`t necessarily change the world or the people in it.  We CAN change ourselves!  We are responsible for our own salvation and Godliness!  We can choose to stand up straight and tall, full of the Holy Spirit and deal with the blows the world deals out with composure, grace and class only available by the grace of God!

From there, we can hope and pray that our `rightness` will become infectious!

Be ALL that you can be through Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior!

Labels: Choices, Godliness, Righteousness

(And, Unfortunately, So Has My Pre-Schooler)

I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.  Psalm 101:2

Today started like any other Saturday . . . I woke up with a miserable headache, had several t-shirts to print, my pre-schooler was hungry (ALL DAY), my ex-husband needed another favor, blah, blah, blah.  *smile*

So anyway, amidst all of these other fairly `usual` happenings, I had decided to call and cancel one of those crazy things that got added to my credit card simply because, when the salesperson called and gave me the garbley-gook, sales-pitch, I was so desperate to get off of the phone that I took the offer.  Well, I never received the `Welcome` package; however they have faithfully charged me $9.95 per month.  I decided that I`d had enough and needed to cancel it before it was due again this month!

Side note:  I have been working really hard to not take my frustration out on customer service reps, since usually it`s not their fault that I`m dissatisfied!

However . . .

Upon explaining to this girl that I wanted to cancel the service because I never received the information (as promised) and had no real clue what the service even was . . . she proceeded to tell me that she would be happy to cancel it, however, she was sure that I understood the `wonderful` benefits of this service, blah, blah, blah . . .

What?

Can you understand the words that are comin` out of my mouth?

NO! I had absolutely NO clue what the benefits were as I`d NEVER received the `Welcome` package!  -As promised!

So, she proceeds to tell me that if I have an internet connection I could easily look up the information on-line!

Hello?

I`m sorry!  I most definitely SHOULD NOT have to do this!  Basically, I paid for something and did not receive it!  Cancel the darn thing and quit charging my credit card $9.95 per month for NOTHING!

Obviously, she got upset that I still preferred to cancel the `service` and did not even remain on the line long enough for me to wish her a `great weekend`!  *cheesy smile*

Yes, I`m ranting a bit, and I DO apologize.  These blog posts aren`t usually set at this tone!  But honestly, it`s been a frustrating and enlightening day to say the least!

Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all.  I Timothy 4:15

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.  II Timothy 4:2

Right off the bat today, I found that I am learning to stick up for myself.  I refuse to basically get `jipped` out of money that we`ve worked very hard for!  (Money that I could use to buy Disney’s “Over the Hedge”!)

Well, anyway, a bit later in the day, I grabbed my pre-schooler and set off to the wonderful and always colorful trip to the garbage dump!  LOL

After which, we then proceeded to the grocery store.  (Well, after today, I will gladly drag garbage to the dump as to EVER go to the grocery store again!)

First of all, I realize that these stores can`t be held accountable for the behavior of their customers.  Got that!

And, it wasn`t bad enough that this one particular family was stretched the length of the entire `meat` section (prohibiting other customers from perusing the selection) and that every other word out of their mouths was a cuss word and spoken loudly at that.  

Sadly, I`m growing accustomed to that junk in the parking lots, etc.  (I find it inexcusable, but it is everywhere and I have yet to figure out how to avoid it.  We`ve even had to listen to it at the dentist`s office!)

It wasn`t even the fact that I had to bag my own groceries because the `bagger` fellas were busy helping men bag their groceries.  Or even the fact that a customer entering the store confused me with an employee and asked ME where to find charcoal!  (That part is actually a bit funny and he DID apologize later!)

The kicker was this . . .

The customer in the next isle asked the cashier for a blow job!  WHAT?  Holy cow!  Right smack dab in front of my child, God and EVERYBODY!

I was so disgusted!  I blurted out, “There ARE children present!”  I could not even believe my ears!  I was so mad that I could have puked – right there!

This is the kind of trash talk that you`d expect to hear in a bar!

The worst part of all was when I realized that the cashier was NOT repulsed, NOT embarrassed, NOT even shaken by this!  She was `flirting` back with this man!  Ugh!

This just makes me so sick to even think about it!

Thus, I`ve learned something else about myself today!  I`m becoming a `prude`!

Once upon a time, I may not have even noticed this kind of talk.  Today, however, I find it reprehensible, repulsive, vile, disgusting, obnoxious and quite frankly, I think that cashier should be reprimanded!  In fact, I may never return to this store!

Gone is the day when customer service was courteous and respectful!

I may step on some toes with this post and if so, I am really sorry, but tough!  My children and I are forced to listen to discussions of drunken parties and happenings, sexual conduct and God knows what else, just to do something as mundane and essential as to buy groceries, cat food and sidewalk chalk!

Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.  Romans 12:17

If perhaps, I have made you mad, here are some suggestions:

• Don`t read my blog!  I am a Christian woman doing my best to raise my children as such – some might leak out in my blog!

• Watch what kind of garbage you spew out in public!

• Get right with God!

(I highly recommend the latter!)

1 “Now it shall be, if you diligently obey the LORD your God, being careful to do all His commandments which I command you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth.

2 “All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you if you obey the LORD your God:

3 “Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country.

4 “Blessed shall be the offspring of your body and the produce of your ground and the offspring of your beasts, the increase of your herd and the young of your flock.

5 “Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.

6 “Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.

7 “The LORD shall cause your enemies who rise up against you to be defeated before you; they will come out against you one way and will flee before you seven ways.

8 “The LORD will command the blessing upon you in your barns and in all that you put your hand to, and He will bless you in the land which the LORD your God gives you.

9 “The LORD will establish you as a holy people to Himself, as He swore to you, if you keep the commandments of the LORD your God and walk in His ways.

10 “So all the peoples of the earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will be afraid of you.

11 “The LORD will make you abound in prosperity, in the offspring of your body and in the offspring of your beast and in the produce of your ground, in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers to give you.

12 “The LORD will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hand; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow.

13 “The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God, which I charge you today, to observe them carefully,

14 and do not turn aside from any of the words which I command you today, to the right or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.  Deuteronomy 28:1-14

Labels: Choices, Godliness, Righteousness, Tolerance

A term I grew up hearing and knowing was `God Fearing`. I always knew that besides my parents or the authorities, if (when) I messed up, I would have to answer to God. If I didn`t change my ways, if I wasn`t on the right track, God would deal with me appropriately. I also knew that this would be worse than anything my parents or the law could dole out! Evil shall slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The LORD redeems the soul of His servants, And none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned. Psalm 34:21-22

Over the years now, my relationship with God has grown into one of love and adoration. I still fear Him (like a strict parent), but I don`t` live in fear of Him. Rather, I worship Him and praise Him because He is awesome. But godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6 He has shown me time and time again how wonderful He is and how merciful He is! But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. I Timothy 6:11 The Amplified Bible translates Godliness here as: `the loving fear of God and being Christlike`.

My question today though, where`s the fear in this world?

The world is so consumed with hatred and vulgarity. It also seems to me that people are so driven by being noticed and recognized, that they will do anything to get attention ~ even bad attention. Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself. I Timothy 6:5

I find it very terrifying that people don`t fear the wrath of God anymore. (How can we expect them to be intimidated by the legal system or jail time?)

Abstain from every form of evil. I Thessalonians 5:22 Couldn`t be more plain than that! EVERY form of evil. Not just some, not the ones that are convenient or the ones that aren`t `socially` unacceptable EVERY form! Even the smallest ones or the ones on the lowest scale.

I`ll be the first to admit that it is hard to do this. But we have to try. We have to correct areas of our lives that we are convicted in and move on to the next issue. Constantly walking farther along the path to righteousness. Constantly excelling and improving our way of living. Flee from these things . . . pursue righteousness, Godliness, faith, love perseverance and gentleness! But refuse profane and old wives` fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness. For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.I Timothy 4:7-8

You can`t just overcome drinking, or drugs or gambling and stop there. ~ Don`t get me wrong, those are major addictions and everyone has a different struggle with each. Overcoming addiction(s) is a great accomplishment and to be admired. The point I`m making is that it`s not the only one. There are many, many issues in all of our lives that we need to overcome. No matter your level of commitment to the Father, there is something that you can improve upon to walk closer to Him.

Let`s face it, we are not perfect or even close to being comparable to God. This is something we must always strive for and something only completely attained once we arrive in Heaven with Him!

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness. Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat? Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness. Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless. And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation.II Peter 3:10-15

Labels: Godliness, Righteousness