Refuge for a Single Mom

Last week, my girl Becki and I were discussing some things.  (And by the way, I just want to publicly say what a wonderful friend, listener and encouragement she’s been to me lately!  Thank you sweetie – you rock!)  In particular, we were talking about relationships, witnessing to others and spreading God’s Word, when finally, she simply says to me, “just let your light shine through”.  How simple – right?

1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;

4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  I Peter 3:1-4

Yeah, I realize that this refers to wives in particular, and no, I’m not getting at anything…but I think it is sound advice for anyone – especially single moms thrown back out into the dating world of today.

For some of us, we’ve been Christians a long time and it all comes through very naturally, no matter what the social circumstances.

For others of us, we became dedicated Christians during a ‘down time’ (in an incubator of sorts) when we were only concerned with ourselves and our children.  We didn’t have to deal with the mindset of a boyfriend, fiancé, spouse, or any other type of significant other.

But now, all of the sudden we find that we are not only faced with the difficulties of dating in general, but we are inundated by the effects of the sinful world we live in.  Betrayal, lies, deceit, and lust are commonplace.

Love doesn’t always discern.  We may fall in love with someone that believes differently or follows a different doctrine, or worst case scenario, he may not believe at all.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?  II Corinthians 6:14

What do we do?

The last thing you want to do is to give in to lust and fleshly desires - even if it feels right.  You can’t let persuasion or intimidation control your decisions.  You also can’t be so afraid of being alone that you will do anything (including betray God) to “keep a man”!

I can tell you this, someone who really loves you and respects you, will be considerate of your morals, ideals, principles, opinions, habits, idiosyncrasies, AND your beliefs and faith!  When they choose to be a part of your life, they must realize that your children, your home, your work, your family, your friends and most importantly, your God were there first!

This may sound a little brutal, but my honest opinion is this - - God first!  Everything else that we are blessed with in this life is simply the ‘cherry on top’ (so to speak).  You wouldn’t have your children, home, job, family, friends or any man if weren’t for the grace of God.  Your eternal life depends on your comprehension of that!

There will always be someone in your life, children, family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc., that relies on your ‘light’ for direction.  As single Moms, hopefully we will all find someone very special to spend the rest of our lives with, but in the meantime, we will come in contact with many people, struggling people, and they won’t always be Christians, they may not even be believers!  We should recognize this as one more way to spread the good news of God’s promises!

I Peter 3:4 says: but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  In other words, “let your light shine through” – in every situation!!!

Labels: Choices, Friendship, Godliness, Righteousness, Way of Thinking

Have you ever heard people say something like this?  “I`d rather have a few flowers now, while I`m alive, than dozens when I`m dead and can`t appreciate them”?

I`ve heard it a few times, and it makes a whole lot of sense if you think about it!

We all get so absorbed and bogged down with our own lives and problems that we often don`t take the time necessary to nurture our relationships – before it`s too late.

It`s really easy to fault-find, nag and get frustrated with each other.  We get SO upset when our kids don`t clean their rooms or they leave their dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.  And it drives us totally bonkers when our good friends at church go on and on about the same things time and time again.

But the fact of the matter is - love is of God.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.  I John 4:7

We spend SO much time complaining, griping and being offended - really it all boils down to being judgmental and intolerant of others – being `UN`loving!

Personally, I`ve been working very hard to stop judging people.  To stop pointing out their shortcomings and love EVERYONE as a brother or sister in Christ – just as I wish to be loved.  (Yes, this is very difficult!  Sometimes it is done with little or no appreciation – in the natural anyway.)

This is why we look to God for strength and encouragement.  This is one of those things we can only do through Him – FOR Him!

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.  Philippians 4:13

Last week, there was a lot of fear, tragedy and death – all over the country!  For most of us, it triggers an intense sense of loss and sadness, whether we knew the individuals or not.  We mourn the loss and grieve for the families.

Amidst all of this, I got to thinking about how futile life seems sometimes, how mundane and routine our lives become.

I`ve often heard pastors preach on the importance of acknowledging your love for family and friends and doing it often.  (There must be something to this!)

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.  James 1:17

Let them know you love them, let them know you care and appreciate them.  Tell your kids that you`re proud of their accomplishments and love the people they`re becoming.  Give them a hug before school – even if they`re not too thrilled about it!  Say a prayer over them as they go, ask God for His protection and guidance for them – always thank Him for your beautiful blessings!

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  Philippians 4:6

We never know how long we have together or when we`ll leave this Earth.  It`s important to make life matter – make everything you do matter!  -Do it from your heart!

Take a moment today to show those most important to you how much you care.  Show everyone you care!  Give out a few extra smiles, say an extra `thank you` or `excuse me` at the grocery store or shopping mall today.

Give out some flowers!

19 Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus,
20 by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh,
21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God,
22 let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.
23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;
24 and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds,
25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.
Hebrews 10:19-25

Labels: Blessings, Encouragement, Friendship, Generosity, Godliness, Kindness, Way of Thinking

In today`s world, there is so much heartache, sadness and tragedy.  Words cannot describe the horror at Virginia Tech this week!  So much senseless death!  So much madness!  I cannot even imagine what those parents, husbands, wives, sisters, brothers, friends and classmates must be feeling!  (I pray that I am spared such heartache!)

Honestly, it seems like the more that we reach out and connect with people, the more knowledge we gain, (via media, internet, word of mouth) - the more we are exposed to.

17 And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.
18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.  Ecclesiastes 1:17-18

I`ve found lately, that I`ve been bombarded with prayer requests!  Somehow, people know that my family and I will be lifting them and their loved ones up in prayer.

Recently, a very sad and grievous prayer request was announced on one of my favorite forums.

One of the owners, Heather, has been diagnosed with a brain tumor.  I`ve only been getting to know Heather since February and she has totally touched my life!  She is such an inspiring young woman!  I immediately felt a connection with her.  I could tell right away that she was sensitive, warm, loving, kind, honest, loyal and most of all, she loves her Father with her whole heart!

She is married to Mark and they have three precious children.  When I read Heather`s blog, I identify with her and her concerns.  She isn`t afraid to `die` so much (I mean who wouldn`t want to escape this crazy world and go home to be with our Savior?)  She IS however, afraid to leave her children behind!  What mother in her right mind wouldn`t be?  (Especially a single mom!  Do you know where your children would be placed?)

Now, Heather needs me - she needs us!

Wednesday, April 18th has been cited as “Love on Heather” day.  On Wednesday, April 25th, she and Mark will be seeking a second opinion and medical treatment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota - the number one neurosurgery hospital in the country.

Funds are being raised in order to ease the financial burdens that Heather and Mark are faced with so that they may better be able to concentrate on the issue at hand, Heather`s healing!

I encourage you to read more from those who know Heather best or read more about Heather`s story from her.

More about “Love on Heather”

Read Heather`s blog and follow her journey.

Most importantly, I encourage you to donate.  We all get a little nervous when it comes to giving money on-line, but wouldn`t you want the support if you needed it?  

And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.  II Peter 1:7

The money is collected securely via Pay Pal and goes straight to Heather and Mark.  No one will know if you give or how much, but God will.  Sow a seed of charity in Heather`s direction!

Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned.  I Timothy 1:5

char•i•ty

• generous actions or donations to aid the poor, ill, or helpless
• something given to a person or persons in need
• a charitable act or work
• a charitable fund, foundation, or institution
• benevolent feeling, esp. toward those in need or in disfavor
• leniency in judging others; forbearance
• Christian love

Search your heart!  If you truly cannot give, the Lord knows that and He knows your heart!  If you can, remember that the smallest amounts will add up if we all respond to the call!

Most precious of all, lift Heather, her family, her friends and her co-workers in your prayers!  


Dear Father in Heaven,

We know by Your Word and Your promises that You are a healing God, that anything is possible, that even in today`s crazy world, You perform miracles!  You have the power that leaves doctors standing in amazement at unexplained recoveries!

Lord, we stand in agreement here for Your immediate control over this situation, for Heather`s healing, for her family`s peace of mind and reassurance that You are bigger than anything they face!

Sweet Father, we just ask that You put Your loving arms around our precious Heather and her family right now so that they would feel Your love, hold steadfast to You and that they would have the strength, determination and courage to conquer this situation!

We pray that You would use Heather`s victory to show the world Your supernatural power and healing, that her testimony will bring many of our brothers and sisters back into the fold!

In Jesus` Precious Name, Amen!


And on the basis of faith in His name, it is the name of Jesus which has strengthened this man whom you see and know; and the faith which comes through Him has given him this perfect health in the presence of you all.  Acts 3:16


More participating blogs and sites to check out!

I Should be Folding Laundry

5 Minutes for Mom

Labels: Blessings, Charities, Encouragement, Friendship, Kindness, Prayer

Well, we`ve discussed a lot of `junk` this week and we`ve also discussed friendships.

Something else that can take you by surprise is when you realize that some people really just aren`t your friends and don`t care too much about you. Sometimes, you realize that a friendship is `junk`! *wink* It can be a very devastating time. I even lost a job once, because a `friend` of mine was more motivated to assume my position than to be a loyal friend! WOWIE! What a blow!

Divorce is another great test for friends. During my divorce, my ex-husband forced most of `our` friends to choose between us. I found that although they said they weren`t `choosing`, they just quit talking to ME! *big smile* In fact, the only friends I kept were friends that were originally `mine` to begin with!

Any type of separation like this is a good guide. You will figure out very quickly who your true friends are.

But enough of that. These are just more examples of `junk`. For it is not an enemy who reproaches and taunts me ~ then I might bear it; nor is it one who has hated me who insolently vaunts himself against me, ~ then I might hide from him. But it was you, a man my equal, my companion and my familiar friend. We had sweet fellowship together and used to walk to the house of God in company. Psalm 55:12-14

When this happens, we have to turn our faces to the sun and rise above. Look toward God for comfort and relief and press on. As for me, I will call upon God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon will I utter my complaint and moan and sigh, and He will hear my voice. He has redeemed my life in peace from the battle that was against me [so that none came near me.], for they were many who strove with me. Psalm 55:16-18 Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you; He will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail). Psalm 55:22 Amidst it all, God is good!

Then, He outdoes Himself! He blesses us with really, good, true-blue, `Thelma & Louise` ~ Totally Awesome Friends. There is little as valuable or precious as one of these kinds of friends. You can trust them with your secrets, your life, your children, your money, your car, with everything! They are so incredibly valuable, that they are far and few between and hard to acquire ~ like diamonds or gold!

Perhaps they could be considered Angels on Earth! Obviously, God really is with us at all times and He will always be the ultimate friend. A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 Isn`t it nice to have an awesome gal pal too? Someone that God himself put here to share a good laugh, a good cry, crowning moments and the most devastating ones.

This is the woman who you know would get on a plane and fly 1000`s of miles to be with you in tragedy ~ or HAS! She`s the one that is sincerely happy that you`ve found a home after 3 years of searching. She`s the one that is happy you made a profit on a real estate sale and can finally get a REAL hair style or new pair of shoes. She`s the one that encourages you to try something new ~ especially when it`s a little [a lot] scary! She`s the one that relishes in every happy moment without begrudging you the success or prosperity! A friend loveth at all times . . . Proverbs 17:17

Yes, I believe these women are Angels! They are sent here by God to help nudge us in the right directions and help us survive!

Give your Angel a hug today and thank her for being who she is! *big hug*

Labels: Friendship, Loyalty, Trust