Refuge for a Single Mom

Last week, my girl Becki and I were discussing some things.  (And by the way, I just want to publicly say what a wonderful friend, listener and encouragement she’s been to me lately!  Thank you sweetie – you rock!)  In particular, we were talking about relationships, witnessing to others and spreading God’s Word, when finally, she simply says to me, “just let your light shine through”.  How simple – right?

1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;

4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  I Peter 3:1-4

Yeah, I realize that this refers to wives in particular, and no, I’m not getting at anything…but I think it is sound advice for anyone – especially single moms thrown back out into the dating world of today.

For some of us, we’ve been Christians a long time and it all comes through very naturally, no matter what the social circumstances.

For others of us, we became dedicated Christians during a ‘down time’ (in an incubator of sorts) when we were only concerned with ourselves and our children.  We didn’t have to deal with the mindset of a boyfriend, fiancé, spouse, or any other type of significant other.

But now, all of the sudden we find that we are not only faced with the difficulties of dating in general, but we are inundated by the effects of the sinful world we live in.  Betrayal, lies, deceit, and lust are commonplace.

Love doesn’t always discern.  We may fall in love with someone that believes differently or follows a different doctrine, or worst case scenario, he may not believe at all.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?  II Corinthians 6:14

What do we do?

The last thing you want to do is to give in to lust and fleshly desires - even if it feels right.  You can’t let persuasion or intimidation control your decisions.  You also can’t be so afraid of being alone that you will do anything (including betray God) to “keep a man”!

I can tell you this, someone who really loves you and respects you, will be considerate of your morals, ideals, principles, opinions, habits, idiosyncrasies, AND your beliefs and faith!  When they choose to be a part of your life, they must realize that your children, your home, your work, your family, your friends and most importantly, your God were there first!

This may sound a little brutal, but my honest opinion is this - - God first!  Everything else that we are blessed with in this life is simply the ‘cherry on top’ (so to speak).  You wouldn’t have your children, home, job, family, friends or any man if weren’t for the grace of God.  Your eternal life depends on your comprehension of that!

There will always be someone in your life, children, family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc., that relies on your ‘light’ for direction.  As single Moms, hopefully we will all find someone very special to spend the rest of our lives with, but in the meantime, we will come in contact with many people, struggling people, and they won’t always be Christians, they may not even be believers!  We should recognize this as one more way to spread the good news of God’s promises!

I Peter 3:4 says: but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  In other words, “let your light shine through” – in every situation!!!

Labels: Choices, Friendship, Godliness, Righteousness, Way of Thinking