Refuge for a Single Mom

But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.  I Timothy 6:6

As a new Christian, I’ve learned a lot of very important lessons.  One of them has been to be happy with myself, to be content with who I am and where I am and to enjoy spending time with “me”!

I know so many people that can’t stand to be alone - they aren’t alone without being lonely.  They constantly crave the company and attention of other people or being in public places.

Not me!  No way!  When I finally get a few moments to myself, I immerse myself in the tranquility and serenity of being ALONE!  This is something that God has taught me and it has been an invaluable lesson to learn.

I can remember when my husband and I first separated. My son would go on visitation with him and it drove me crazy to sit here alone.  I was needy and dependant on other people for everything.  I had to get on the phone, get out with friends – anything!  The only thing that mattered was that I was NOT alone!

So many people are like this.  I see guys and gals who would spend their time on people and relationships that are obviously going nowhere or are even lethal.  They impose themselves on others and all around are just lost and lonely.  I want so badly to tell them to find God and find themselves!  It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.  I have so much newfound contentment in who I am in Christ.  I truly enjoy spending time in the Word and cultivating the new me.  It has been the most significant makeover I will ever experience!

As single moms, I think it weighs heavy on us as to whether or not we will find someone else to share our lives with.  A lot of us may even obsess over it.  –I used to.

21 Many plans are in a man’s heart, But the counsel of the LORD will stand.
23 The fear of the LORD leads to life, So that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil.   Proverbs 19:21 & 23

Once I found my way back to the Lord and spent my time and efforts on growing closer to Him and learning more about who He wanted me to be, who He expected me to be, I realized that I could relax and trust Him with the details.  I enjoy myself, my life, my kids and all of the other blessings that God has so graciously bestowed upon me.  Now, I am more independent and I am better able to truly trust God with the fate of my “love life”!

10 “He opens their ear to instruction, and commands that they return from evil.  
11 “If they hear and serve Him, they will end their days in prosperity and their years in pleasures.  
12 “But if they do not hear, they shall perish by the sword and they will die without knowledge.  Job 36:10-12

I often joke that if it is God’s will for me to meet someone or even to remarry, that He will drop this man from the heavens right into my lap.  Gone is the day that I am in search of this person or longing for his arrival.  I now know, deep in my heart that God can handle this.  He has a perfect plan for my life and it is up to me to trust Him with it.  That may even mean that I spend the rest of my life alone.  That is okay too!  Life on this Earth is very short it is also very corrupt and distracting.  We have to focus ourselves on the bigger picture and live our lives accordingly.  Live as the Word of God instructs us to.  Live for what you have and be appreciative of your blessings.  Don’t spend your life aching, needing, searching and longing for the things and people that you don’t have!

Labels: Blessings, Choices, Lonliness, Trust, Way of Thinking

Everyone just wants something to believe in ~ don`t they?  Everyone needs somewhere to belong and feel safe!  This issue came up in conversation several times yesterday and I felt compelled to `investigate`.

History is repeating itself as I watch my teenage son, attempt to distinguish himself, find a place to belong and to be accepted.  It seems like mo matter how much we love our kids unconditionally; they continue to want for something more!  They need their friends to accept them . . . they need to be accepted by the opposite gender . . . they need their teacher`s approval . . . it`s endless!  *smile*

In reality, most adults are no different!  We need our bosses, co-workers, social groups, etc. to `like` us!

Do you remember when you were an unbeliever and you roamed around always empty?  No matter how many friends you had, how much money you made, how much you exercised ~ there was still something missing?

I distinctly remember hearing the religious icons talk about this!  They would consistently try to impress the need for God in our lives!  (I often chuckle at how silly it all sounded then!)  But it is SO real!

And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

Why is it that so many people deny the existence of God?  They refuse to believe that He loves them and is willing to forgive them of all their sins!

1 “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 “In My Father`s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. 3 “If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. 4 “And you know the way where I am going.” 5 Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?” 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.  John 14:1-6

be•lieve

to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so

Why?  Why is it so hard for people to believe in God?

Is it a trust issue?  Do they not trust the Word of God?

It could be guilt!  Yes!  Guilt is good.  I mean it`s a huge struggle to forgive yourself!  If you are fortunate enough to forgive yourself and believe that God has forgiven you, there is always somebody in this world that is more than happy to remind you of what a failure you are!

Is it pride?  Maybe they`re too proud to admit they need anyone else ~ including God?

Doubt?  That`s another huge issue!  If we aren`t proud, we lack self-confidence to do very much of anything!

OH!  I know!  They`re having too much fun drinking themselves silly and doing so many drugs that their bodies are dying from the inside out!  Then there`s the premarital/extramarital sex with dozens of people they don`t know (or know anything about)!  OOH!  Gambling!  That`s a good one!  It`s a real rush to gamble your paycheck away and not be able to pay your bills!

You might wonder where all that came from!  Well, because I know!  First hand!  I was completely throwing my life away!

What changed all that?  Believing in something!  REALLY believing in God!  Completely and totally believing that He loves me ~ unconditionally!

13 These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14 This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. I John 5:13-15

Praise God!


SPECIAL NOTE:Above I mentioned 5 different reasons why we might find it difficult to believe:  Trust Issues, Guilt, Pride, Doubt & Selfishness.  These are all huge pitfalls, especially for us single moms who often lack the Earthly support system we desperately need.  Shoot, I know a lot of married moms struggling with these same topics!  Next week, I want to research each topic individually and see if we can`t understand them a little better!

Best wishes for a weekend full of God`s love!

Labels: Believe, Doubt, Faith, Guilt, Pride, Selfishness, Trust

Well, we`ve discussed a lot of `junk` this week and we`ve also discussed friendships.

Something else that can take you by surprise is when you realize that some people really just aren`t your friends and don`t care too much about you. Sometimes, you realize that a friendship is `junk`! *wink* It can be a very devastating time. I even lost a job once, because a `friend` of mine was more motivated to assume my position than to be a loyal friend! WOWIE! What a blow!

Divorce is another great test for friends. During my divorce, my ex-husband forced most of `our` friends to choose between us. I found that although they said they weren`t `choosing`, they just quit talking to ME! *big smile* In fact, the only friends I kept were friends that were originally `mine` to begin with!

Any type of separation like this is a good guide. You will figure out very quickly who your true friends are.

But enough of that. These are just more examples of `junk`. For it is not an enemy who reproaches and taunts me ~ then I might bear it; nor is it one who has hated me who insolently vaunts himself against me, ~ then I might hide from him. But it was you, a man my equal, my companion and my familiar friend. We had sweet fellowship together and used to walk to the house of God in company. Psalm 55:12-14

When this happens, we have to turn our faces to the sun and rise above. Look toward God for comfort and relief and press on. As for me, I will call upon God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon will I utter my complaint and moan and sigh, and He will hear my voice. He has redeemed my life in peace from the battle that was against me [so that none came near me.], for they were many who strove with me. Psalm 55:16-18 Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you; He will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail). Psalm 55:22 Amidst it all, God is good!

Then, He outdoes Himself! He blesses us with really, good, true-blue, `Thelma & Louise` ~ Totally Awesome Friends. There is little as valuable or precious as one of these kinds of friends. You can trust them with your secrets, your life, your children, your money, your car, with everything! They are so incredibly valuable, that they are far and few between and hard to acquire ~ like diamonds or gold!

Perhaps they could be considered Angels on Earth! Obviously, God really is with us at all times and He will always be the ultimate friend. A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 Isn`t it nice to have an awesome gal pal too? Someone that God himself put here to share a good laugh, a good cry, crowning moments and the most devastating ones.

This is the woman who you know would get on a plane and fly 1000`s of miles to be with you in tragedy ~ or HAS! She`s the one that is sincerely happy that you`ve found a home after 3 years of searching. She`s the one that is happy you made a profit on a real estate sale and can finally get a REAL hair style or new pair of shoes. She`s the one that encourages you to try something new ~ especially when it`s a little [a lot] scary! She`s the one that relishes in every happy moment without begrudging you the success or prosperity! A friend loveth at all times . . . Proverbs 17:17

Yes, I believe these women are Angels! They are sent here by God to help nudge us in the right directions and help us survive!

Give your Angel a hug today and thank her for being who she is! *big hug*

Labels: Friendship, Loyalty, Trust